By Candace Howe ofÂ newyorkstateofmom.blogspot.com
This Sunday will be my third Fatherâ€™s Day as a single parent. So far Chunks and I have been doing justÂ fine with our little family of two and I believe heâ€™s growing and thriving quite all right. Of courseÂ I appreciate the village we’veÂ developed and cam especially grateful for their encouragement and support through my divorce. But this morning,Â as I was walking to the train station the barista in the coffee shop handed me my latte and said â€œHappyÂ Fatherâ€™s Day if I donâ€™t see you.â€
I paused a minute but offered a smile, as I realized he didnâ€™t mean any harm. I went on to the train station trying to processÂ what had just happened. Perhaps, I must reconcile myself to the fact that remarks like those are just something Iâ€™ll just have to getÂ used to as a single mom, right?
I get to work and a friend says â€œHey Candace, Happy Fatherâ€™s Day!â€ this time I didnâ€™t have to pause andÂ said â€œNo, I already celebrated MY day last monthâ€ she laughed and said â€œGirl, you have the job of both, you get both daysâ€ and walked away. I thought about this: Yes, true, I am Chunksâ€™ only active parent but the Wasband is still his Father.
On Facebook, a high school friend posts about so many of the single mothers doing the jobs of Mother and FatherÂ and owning the day for herself and all others doing the job and she tagged me in it. And now I was upset forÂ two reasons:
1) I am NOT Chunksâ€™ Father!
2) NO ONE steals momâ€™s thunder in May why canâ€™t Fatherâ€™sÂ Day be all about the amazing men doing their job?
I will never say I am both Mother and Father because it is impossible. I am Chunksâ€™ MOTHER and I wearÂ that badge with honor and while his father is not around, Father’s day is not a day to highlight thatÂ fact. As a family, for us it isÂ the day to put the spot light on the men who are working hard to provide for their families, the men who change their work hours to accommodate the school/work schedule of their childâ€™s mother so she can live out her dreams, the dads who do not make plans on the weekends because their kids haveÂ an extracurricular event that they HAVE to attend and/or coach, the fathers who NEVER miss a beat be it bedtime, dinner time, heart break, failures, and celebrations.
I for one think THOSE FATHERSÂ are pretty HOT.
This Sunday is NOT about single mothers. We are doing an awesome, sometimes overwhelming job raisingÂ incredible children and I hope thatÂ it does not go unnoticed but we had our day already. I for one will be teachingÂ Chunks about honor and respect on that day and what it looks like:Â Grandpa, Uncle, Great Grandfather,Â God Father; all the irreplaceable men in his life that deserve praise for the work that they do on THEIRÂ day. They deserve their shine.
HAPPY FATHERâ€™S DAY TO ALL THE AMAZING FATHERâ€™S DOING THEIR JOB! THIS MOM THINKS YOUâ€™REÂ HOT!
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