This Single Mom Says Father’s Day is ALL ABOUT THE DADS (she had her day already)

By Candace Howe of

This Sunday will be my third Father’s Day as a single parent. So far Chunks and I have been doing just  fine with our little family of two and I believe he’s growing and thriving quite all right. Of course  I appreciate the village we’ve  developed and cam especially grateful for their encouragement and support through my divorce. But this morning,  as I was walking to the train station the barista in the coffee shop handed me my latte and said “Happy  Father’s Day if I don’t see you.”


I paused a minute but offered a smile, as I realized he didn’t mean any harm. I went on to the train station trying to process  what had just happened. Perhaps, I must reconcile myself to the fact that remarks like those are just something I’ll just have to get  used to as a single mom, right?

I get to work and a friend says “Hey Candace, Happy Father’s Day!” this time I didn’t have to pause and  said “No, I already celebrated MY day last month” she laughed and said “Girl, you have the job of both, you get both days” and walked away. I thought about this: Yes, true, I am Chunks’ only active parent but the Wasband is still his Father.

On Facebook, a high school friend posts about so many of the single mothers doing the jobs of Mother and Father  and owning the day for herself and all others doing the job and she tagged me in it. And now I was upset for  two reasons:

1) I am NOT Chunks’ Father!

2) NO ONE steals mom’s thunder in May why can’t Father’s  Day be all about the amazing men doing their job?

I will never say I am both Mother and Father because it is impossible. I am Chunks’ MOTHER and I wear  that badge with honor and while his father is not around, Father’s day is not a day to highlight that  fact. As a family, for us it is  the day to put the spot light on the men who are working hard to provide for their families, the men who change their work hours to accommodate the school/work schedule of their child’s mother so she can live out her dreams, the dads who do not make plans on the weekends because their kids have  an extracurricular event that they HAVE to attend and/or coach, the fathers who NEVER miss a beat be it bedtime, dinner time, heart break, failures, and celebrations.

I for one think THOSE FATHERS  are pretty HOT.

This Sunday is NOT about single mothers. We are doing an awesome, sometimes overwhelming job raising  incredible children and I hope that  it does not go unnoticed but we had our day already. I for one will be teaching  Chunks about honor and respect on that day and what it looks like:  Grandpa, Uncle, Great Grandfather,  God Father; all the irreplaceable men in his life that deserve praise for the work that they do on THEIR  day. They deserve their shine.


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Can I: Be a Bangin Mom, Raise a Gentleman, kill the MCATS, AND live a full NYC Life?? YES!!! and I’ll be tweeting/blogging all the way through it all!


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