Here is the long and short of it- I have a lot of fragile items in my house- which some people (like my 15-year-old daughter) might say borders on hoarding. And while I wouldn’t classify myself as an uptight mom when it comes to bedtimes, foods and rules when it comes to my house I am a bit OCD. That’s not to say that my house is not messy- and cluttered and FULL of dog pee ( which my rescues Lazer and Ike have made sure to mark in every nook and cranny) it’s just that I have a lot of fragile dolls and ceramic-type stuff that require my kids DON’T act like bulls in China shops.
I also don’t have a finished basement or den- so we actually LIVE and play in our living room ( which also happens to hold lots of my “artifacts”). So why do I share this very long preamble with you- because my almost 12 year old just mentioned the two words that send moms like me into a full on Broadcast News Flop Sweat– “Sleepover Party”. And my daughter- who is getting quite savvy at working the guilt angle on me- which she knows is my weak spot- upon hearing my son clamoring for a sleepover said, ” Mommy you know our house is NOT a museum”. At this point my head almost did a 360 Linda-Blair-in-the-Exorcist-turn but her comment made me pause and question whether I had what it takes to be a mom who can host a sleepover party. And the conclusion I came to was the fact that I am NOT a sleepover mom based on these five traits.
#1 The minute you see an errant crumb on the floor you whip out your vacuum. Of course at said slumber party crumbs are likely to be everywhere and your son will not look fondly at you whipping out your vacuum and telling his friends to sit on the couch every five minutes so you can fastidiously tidy up.
#2 The thought of ANYONE dismembering your son’s LEGO figurines ( which you have proudly displayed) gives you heart palpitations.
#3 I can barely handle my own kids’ fluids– the thought of having to clean a toilet after it’s been used by at least 10 boys- well it is not something I relish.
#4 I am an in bed by 10 pm gal–the thought of having to stay up till 1 am with the last kid who can’t get to sleep when he is not in his own warm bed – well I think he’d be putting me to sleep.
#5 Everyone who comes to my house knows they need to use my Real Housewives of New Jersey coasters– not sure I could enforce this rule during a sleepover.